Becktails for the Holiday!



We’ll admit it…here at Beck to the Future we have been pretty hard on the Fox News anchor. It can get pretty taxing on the criticized…and the critic. The holidays are upon us and we should all try to live in harmony (but don’t call it social justice because Glenn will write about you on his chalkboard!)

So let us unwind during this fun and festive season with a few Beck to the Future inspired cocktails. Yes, we know Glenn does not drink as a Mormon and recovering alcoholic but there’s nothing stopping his rebel rousing Tea Partiers from snapping open a tall frosty one on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial – its what Abe would have wanted!

First, let us start with a cocktail that pays tribute to the true heroes….No, not the Chilean miners, although that would inspire a great Pisco cocktail. I’m thinking of the founding fathers! Whether you are a progressive, communist, Nazi, insert Beck enemy here, conservative, or tea partier you have most likely used the founders to justify whatever policy you are currently slinging.  So let us start the night with a tribute to the guys who started this mess we call the United States.


2 oz Appleton Estate Rum
1 oz Aged Applejack
1 oz lemon juice
1 oz simple syrup
1 oz soda
4 peach halves muddled*

Combine the simple syrup, lemon juice, and peach halves at the bottom of a mixing glass and muddle. Combine the remaining ingredients and shake vigorously with ice. Double strain into a chilled rocks glass filled with cracked ice. Garnish with a lemon and peach wedge.
Note: The peaches can be substituted for other seasonal fruits. Try berries in the winter or even apricots. The peach version is best in the summer before 4th of July! Adjust the recipe based on the sweetness of the fruit.

This is a lovely drink made in the punch style of old. The plus of this recipe is that you can make an individual portion any time! The dark rum and the aged apple brandy marry well together into the traditional sour format while the fruit makes this insanely refreshing.

Next, we are going to need a cocktail that reflects Beck’s bold and often maddening style. The only person I know that gets Glenn really going is Barack Obama. He is Glenn’s muse, without him he could not write his opuses of conspiracy upon his chalkboard. When Obama came into office Beck became a household name so, it is only fitting that we have a cocktail for Glenn and his muse.

Head of State

1.5 oz Gold Virgin Islands Rum
3/4 oz Dry Vermouth
1/4 oz Blue Curacao
1/2 tsp passion fruit syrup
1 dash old fashioned bitters

Combine the ingredients in the bottom of a mixing glass and stir with cracked ice for thirty seconds. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass or ice filled rocks glass and garnish with a large orange twist.
Note: This is my variation on the cuban classic, the El Presidente cocktail. (Beck does think Obama is a Communist! ) Please use a good quality curacao in this cocktail such as Marie Brizard or Senor Curacao. If you want to really amp up this cocktail you could bacon infuse the rum making an Obamination cocktail. You can learn how to fat wash or bacon infuse a spirit here. Also, the picture shows Appleton Estate, a Jamaican rum. This will work but I found the best balance with an aged Virgin Islands rum.

I love this cocktail and it remains one of my favorite twists I have ever created. This is perfect if you want a tiki or tropical drink and are stuck without fresh juice. Maybe, if we had a couple of these we could all agree that Obama is not a nazi, communist, socialist, antichrist – One can dream!

The final cocktail of the night will be inspired by the man himself. We need something wild, something crazy: a drink that can make you cry and scream within the same breath of a sentence… just like Glenn’s most famous rants. It must have all American ingredients and pack a punch.  I want the liquid form of this:

Get Off My Phone!!!

3/4 Rittenhouse 100 proof rye whiskey
3/4 oz Bonded Applejack 1oo proof
3/4 oz tea-infused Punt e Mes
1/4 oz Cherry Herring
1 dash Mole bitters

Combine the ingredients in the bottom of a mixing glass and stir with cracked ice for thirty seconds. Pour into a chilled cocktail glass.
Note: The tea infused Punt e Mes can be achieved by steeping a tea bag briefly in the vermouth or an entire bottle can be infused using this method. (Sub Punt e Mes for the gin in that article). A Black tea works well but my favorite would be an Indian Darjeeling tea. Whatever tea you sip make sure you use the spent tea bag in a rally somewhere.

I have recently feel in love with these various spirits – Beck better appreciate the quality of liquors he is getting for his cocktail. Hopefully, we can all appreciate this holiday season and put down politics for awhile and instead raise a glass.

Cheers and Happy Holidays! (or as the Fox crew would state “I SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS!”)


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